[opening theme music]
Will somebody please cue that bird?
♪ Samurai Pizza Cats Oh yeah♪
♪ Who do you call when you Want some pepperoni?♪
♪ Samurai Pizza Cats Right on♪
♪ They're stamping out crime♪
♪ And you know That ain't baloney♪
♪ There's Speedy Cerviche, He's the leader of the bunch♪
♪ That's right! A heck of a fighter♪
♪ Makes a heck of a lunch♪
♪ And little Polly Esther Who's never afraid♪
♪ That's me! Of going into battle♪
♪ When the bad guys invade♪
♪ Here's Guido Anchovis A wild romantic rover♪
♪ This cat gets down down With a love hangover♪
♪ Here come the Pizza Cats They're so bad♪
♪ They've got more fur Than any turtle ever had♪
♪ They're stronger Than old cheese♪
♪ Stronger than old cheese♪
♪ Stronger than dirt Stronger than dirt♪
♪ Step on their tails Get off my tail♪
♪ And you're gonna get hurt Don't hurt me♪
♪ Samurai Pizza Cats♪
♪ They're fighting crime All over town♪
♪ Three, two, one The Pizza Cats are on the run♪
♪ The Big Cheese is the villain Who's lower than low♪
♪ It's a rotten shame He lives in Little Tokyo♪
♪ We've got a nasty Bad Bird and some nasty Ninja Crows♪
♪ As soon as someone Finds the script♪
♪ We might begin the show♪
♪ Sit right back Pick up your feet♪
♪ And turn the sound up high♪
♪ And if you want The full effects♪
♪ Go eat a pizza pie Hahaha♪
♪ Samurai Pizza Cats♪
[narrator] Quiet, everybody.
Emperor Fred has an announcement.
-Fred. - That's it?
Okay, he may not be very regal, but he's cool.
Meanwhile, on the notes to this gentle manner,
bad cat headquarters' Big Cheese is hatching another scheme
to reduce the social order to chaos.
Whohoo, Pigal, you got a minute?
[xylophone jingle]
I have something very interesting to show you.
What? Michelle Pfeiffer's home phone number?
No, besides, what she got that I ain't got?
[panting]
-Good likeness, huh? -I say, is that a yam,
or a sweet potato the emperor is holding?
Ah, are you sure that's our emperor?
Of course, I just didn't know he liked gardening.
I got news for you, it's not Fred,
but an incredible look-alike.
[screams]
[Big Cheese] Well, I must say I'm delighted to see you
received this dispatch with your usual applorment
statesman-like of dignity.
We better keep this quiet, if this information fell
into the wrong hands, the social order could be reduced to chaos.
We'd all be out of a job!
Hm, of course, my debt colleague,
not a word about that delightful development shall pass my lips.
Not a breath.
[Bad Bird] Six million copies of the bulletin
should help you find him.
[Big Cheese] And once he's installed the zapper,
I shall bend him to my will.
As chancellor, I'll be the power behind the throne.
Later, you can arrest the impostor,
and move the throne back a couple of feet.
Very good.
Have you thought of a way to distribute this for me?
Do rodents like Roquefort?
-[grunts] -Here's Young Bird!
-Hopping! -[gasp]
-Huh? -Hm?
Hiya, hiya, hiya, how you doing, guys?
Nice to seeya, what's cooking? Hiya, hiya, hiya. Nice day, huh?
What? That maniac young bird is your idea of a delivery boy?
Trust me, he's the fastest thing on two legs.
He'll complete the countryside with your bulletins in no time.
Nice chat with you, I gotta go jogging, see you around.
Biya, biya, biya.
[grunts]
Yowee. Hiya, hiya, hiya.
-[screams] -[laughs]
Yay!
Hoo, hoo.
[Guido] Read that last part again.
A nationwide search is now underway to establish
the identity of the true emperor.
Since when was there any question that Fred
was the true emperor?
Anyone knowing the whereabouts of this person should report it
to the Big Cheese.
Golly, this could reduce the social order to chaos.
[Big Al] Are you alone? I mean, other than yourselves.
-Hi Mr Dente, what-- -Shh, it's important
that no-one know I came here.
I need you to perform a task for me.
-What's up? -This. Once again, Big Cheese
is trying to upset the balance of power.
If he succeeds, the social order could be reduced to chaos.
I need your help to prove that Fred is the true emperor.
Hey, wait a minute, I got date with Lucille,
and you come in, and expect me to just--
No. [giggles] Er, on second thought I'm sure she'll
understand that something came up.
Big Al, we place ourselves at your disposal.
Thank you. There's a nanny who may be able to identify
the emperor, having served him as a child.
But where will we find this former, humble servant
to the infant monarch?
My reports indicate she runs a small, but prosperous souvenir
shop near the base of Mount St Helen's.
I bet a small fortune's involved in volcanic ash.
But how will we recognize her?
By the flock of evil crows in hot pursuit of her.
Big Cheese knows about her.
This might be a good time to set up that branch office up north.
No time to shimmy-shammy, bring her back right away!
Not to worry, you can count on us!
Yeah!
[Lucille] Hello there shoppers,
it's a beautiful day in Little Tokyo,
so we thought we'd celebrate by launching a triple shot
to a place I can't tell you, 'cause its secret.
Let's see, the fifth of the escutcheon divided by
the coefficient of the tangent of counterweight, hm.
[screams] Wow! We haven't done a three-sectioned shot
in a long time.
Implement!
Due to unusual demands on our tower plant,
today's thought-kissing contest has been postponed
one and a half hour.
Please be sure your ticket stubs are in your lunch box,
along with a peppermint, two drops of orange marmalade,
and your fruit salad and don't forget to butter your mothers.
-Thank you. -The wonders of technocracy.
Here goes. [explosion]
[screams]
Huh?
So that's how the lunatics keep escaping.
[narrator] As the three heroes made their perilous way
to their destination,
they discuss the significance of their mission.
I was thinking maybe when we bring the nanny back to
Mount St Helen, we can see for opening up another pizzeria.
How about we diversify into something like oil drilling,
with a little Samuraiing on the side.
We'll need another [indistinct] Captain.
[Young Bird cheers] Oh boy, I love these little league rides
in the countries, reminds me--
What is that thing?
[Young Bird] Whoa! Give way, look out, coming through.
Focus on delivery. Yes, Sirrie!
I'm quick. Quick's my middle name.
[jabbering fades]
[narrator] Meanwhile, back at headquarters.
Wonder how I'd look as a brunette.
Blonde?
Nah.
[Young Bird screams]
-Hi. -Huh?
[screams] [thud]
Can't you ever hold still?
Hear me out with an important project
reporting Big Cheese, all your bills have been delivered as
ordered, over and out. See you around the campus. Yeah.
[grunting]
[narrator] Somewhere in the sky, over Mount St Helen
our fearless heroes make their final approach
for a graceful touchdown.
[screaming]
[action music]
[yelling]
[groaning]
Can't we ever remember to wear our parachutes?
-[woman] Help! Help! -Huh? Who?
-[squeals] -What? Where?
-Me! Here! Help! -[squawking]
-What was the fourth question? -[squawking continues]
-Why are they chasing her? -To keep us from getting her.
They know the gardener's a fraud.
[cries] Somebody help a poor nanny.
[squawks]
-Or, what about-- -I know what you thinking,
the bottom dropped out of the volcanic ash market.
-[sighs] You mean, she's broke. -[agree]
-Oh no, goodness gracious, help! -[all scream] Aha!
What are we seeing? Come on, we got a job to do.
[explosion]
[screaming]
Oh no!
Samurai Pizza Cats at your service, Ma'am.
I'm frightfully grateful.
Congratulations, Madame, you just won an all-expense paid
trip to Little Tokyo courtesy of Al Dente.
That was supposed to be a secret.
-Oh. -Madame, Emperor Fred's title
as a monarch is being threatened by a pretender.
You must identify Fred as the monarch,
otherwise the social order could be reduced to
I don't know what all.
-Mm-hm. -I'm not sure I can
identify him.
[shouts] What?
It could be a very long walk home.
[jovial music]
Checkmate.
[explosion] Hiya, hiya, hiya,
just thought you'd like to know,
your ruffians are on the way here
with Ned the pea picker, that is all.
Hello, I must be going.
[cheers]
If he keeps reporting every little tidbit,
I won't have a house left by the time
I make chancellor.
If you please, master, choose a little patience
with the young bird. Due to a design defect,
he'll explode if he stops moving for more than two seconds.
That explains everything. Swell.
Well, if that ain't the Pacific Northwest all over.
Look at that cloud.
[narrator] Yes, Speedy was right.
The barometric pressure had dropped like a grand piano
from a third floor window.
And boy, did it rain!
How about flying home?
Eh, I bet you the airports are closed.
Even if we had pocket money for the airfare.
[ting]
I just figured out how to solve this.
You can walk and chew gum.
Sure, remember when the clipper hawk ordered the bubblegum pizza
and then changed their mind
and I ate the whole thing myself walking back.
What about this problem?
Piece 'o cake,
we just go upstream, and find ourselves a place
that's narrow enough to jump.
Yip, just another average, brilliant idea.
Hehe, Big Cheese moves up, Geriatric moves up,
so I get to move up.
I can hardly wait for the trickle down to begin.
Hey, Bad Bird, we got company behind us
and they're moving up fast, look!
Ah nuts, now who could that be?
[lightening cracks]
[ominous music]
Three cats and an old lady.
You mean the Samurai Pizza Cats and the nanny?
Huh, the nanny? [screams] [crash]
That grotesque thing just can't do anything right.
Take the gardener and head for the palace, we'll delay them.
The rest of you, come with me.
[shrieks]
I don't think we've been introduced.
I'm Crow Magna, and my employer is the Big Cheese.
That's just like him, hiring a birdbrain.
We work for truth, justice and the best pizza in Little Tokyo.
Now won't you welcome the Samurai Pizza Cats.
[upbeat music]
I'm Guido.
My name is Polly Esther.
I come to the world with love.
My many friends call me Speedy.
No particular reason.
Watch it villains!
Pizza Cats, huh? You don't look so tough to us.
Let's see what kind of stuff you made of.
[screaming]
Yikes! Oh boy, how about we negotiate for a while.
Talk! What's to talk about?
Let's talk about some recent findings
by an intrepid boy down in research and development.
They've come across some utterly, fascinating fact toys
about felines.
[Speedy] Holy catfish, you guys, these clowns mean business,
and they're playing rough.
[Bad Bird] Cats are hopelessly fascinated by small movements
of harmless items, such as this feather.
They also display a weakness for the aroma of mackerel
-fresh from the can. -Huh? Oh.
[Bad Bird] No cat can resist the exotic allure of a ball of yarn.
-[panting] -And the [indistinct]
a radio playing Barry Manilo,
glued to the bottom of the card table.
[screaming]
They're completely helpless in these threats.
Actually I prefer a nice bagel,
or a string quartet to the Manilo.
Still three out of four ain't bad, huh?
Got that right.
Only the power of the pizza eye can save us now.
[crow] Hey, what the heck!
[yells]
[crow] I don't know what's come over me.
I can't take my eyes off of those things.
Don't stare at the mirror, Hex, don't stare at them.
Those are the deadly eyes of the legendary cat bird.
[screaming]
I always knew those birdbrains were superstitious.
[chuckling]
Huh?
What are we just standing around for,
we have a mission to accomplish.
[lively music]
[grunts]
[grunting continues] [panting]
They must have the [indistinct]
and they've got a big head start.
[yells] What are you doing out here already? Faster!
-Faster! -Faster.
-[shouts] Faster!
-[grunts] -[pants]
Those miserable Pizza Cats. [shouts] Arm the power grid!
[screams]
-[gasping] -[crow] Prepare for the gurney.
Ha!
What have you done with the root digger?
[Bad Bird] Much to your chagrin, I'm sure the turnip turner
is on his way to headquarters.
He'll made the new emperor, and everyone will prosper,
especially me.
[gasps]
Give it up.
The race is over and Big Cheese won.
[squeals] Yugh!
You think the contest is over, ain't not until I call upon
my magical Ginzo sword.
Pizza power with extra cheese,
and a side of eggplant parmesan.
[upbeat music]
Now for the cat slag!
[high pitch sawing]
[groaning]
Ha, you'll never make it to headquarters in time.
[laughing]
Yeha!
Pizza power thwarts every enemy.
Yeah!
Get back to headquarters in time?
-[sighs] -This job calls for
extraordinary measures.
[ringing]
Oh, and just when I was going to do my nails.
[gong]
The gang needs your help, Meowsma.
That's gonna mean a ride in the giant blow dryer.
[explosion]
It's the only way to fly.
Stand back folks, I need a soil sample.
Yeah, a soil sample.
[shouts] Huh, how's a soil sample gonna get us back home?
I wore my tunneling suit, watch.
Onward!
[narrator] With Meowsma tunneling all the way
back to headquarters,
the Pizza Cats pursue their mission to save the monarchy,
dragging the nanny behind them.
But now time was their enemy.
Had Tengsash covered the main hole like a blink in a tapioca.
In the absence of a bona fide pretender to the throne
I now declare the challenge null and void.
Shoobap!
[Big Cheese] But Your Highness, we agreed to wait till sundown
for a challenger to appear before the members
of the association.
In the interest of fairness of the noble monarchy,
we simply must observe the protocol, though heaven
knows I have no personal interest
in who sits on the throne.
[loud cheer]
One key pretender coming right up.
[grunts]
Look at that.
[Big Cheese] He's wearing the Royal Crest.
Perhaps we have a new monarch after all.
Well, I thought I hate to admit it,
I was beginning to enjoy this cat singing.
♪ Skiddle dee bup shoobup Shama lam a ding dong♪
♪ Boni maroni And a sack of macaroni♪
♪ Who bup shebam Who can do what♪
[shudder]
[groaning]
[singing together in gibberish]
Oh, at last Daddy found someone who's fluent as he
in his mother tongue.
[singing continues]
-[nanny screeches] Hold it! -[Big Cheese] Now what?
I have a way to resolve a small matter.
Huh? I had given up hope.
That meddling nanny could ruin everything.
I am a nanny who knows her way around.
It would appear someone is trying to perpetuate a fraud.
Would your boys be so kind as to open his royal robe,
and reveal his cummerbund?
[cheers]
[nanny] Yes, it's just as I suspected.
That's the indelible pomegranate stain
you received from me, sitting in the royal highchair.
-[groaning] -Announce the glad word.
The monarchy is preserved and his altitude
has a new friend, all hail Emperor Fred.
[all] Yay, Emperor Fred!
Oh, yeah!
-[Young Bird] Hiya, hiya, hiya. -I can't stand it,
I just can't stand it.
-Yes, sir, it's a beautiful day! -[groans]
[jabbering continues]
A little epoxy will take the starch out of your sails.
Uh-oh! [explosion]
Geriatric, you'll pay for this. [coughs]
Pizza power saves the day again.
[narrator] Thank you, Pizza Cats!
[yelling]
On the next--
Pizza Cats!
[narrator] The peaceful life of the citizens of Little Tokyo
is thrown into panic as a rash of disappearances
by prominent members of the community is reported
in the local newspaper.
Not only are there disappearances, but I'm a sale.
[narrator] The latest victim of drastic disappearances
is the famous Little Tokyo scientist who is an expert
in robotic weaponry.
Of course by now, you've guessed that the Big Cheese
is the mastermind behind the contemptuous kidnappings.
His plan is to kidnap all the best scientists
Little Tokyo has to offer,
and force them to build an ultimate weapon of destruction,
so as to bring the city to its knees.
Our heroes get into the act when Big Al Dente calls on them
to investigate the disappearances,
and put the citizens of the fair city at ease.
We're ready to put everyone at ease, Al.
Will Big Cheese succeed in building the ultimate weapon?
Will the kidnapped scientists be able
to return to their normal lives?
Will the writers ever let me stop
asking these endless questions?
Find out next time in: The Big Cheese's I.Q. Corral,
on the next Samurai Pizza Cats.
Ladies and gentlemen,
The Samurai Pizza Cat Fan Club Oath:
The Pizza Cats are Samurai,
and I'd like to note,
their antics take your breath away,
like fur balls in your throat.
We kittens are a special breed, we never call retreat.
Whenever Big Cheese knocks us down,
we land upon our feet.
So, hail to the ole Pizza Cats,
please ring your little bell.
Although you may be pen and ink,
we know you'll fight like--
Pizza Cats!
[lively music]
♪ Samurai Pizza Cats♪
♪ We hoped you liked the show ♪
♪ It's the best That we could do♪
♪ Samurai Pizza Cats♪
♪ If you could do better Then we'd leave it up to you♪
♪ Just a reminder You might like to know♪
♪ The cats will be back For another big show♪
♪ Hahaha♪
♪ Oh gosh♪
♪ Samurai Pizza Cats♪
♪ They're fighting crime Oh yes♪
♪ All over town Hahaha♪
♪ Of all you have O yeah♪
♪ Two, four, six, eight, why do we expectorate♪
♪ Samurai Pizza Cats♪
♪ Read all the credits so you'll Know who did the work♪
♪ Samurai Pizza Cats Hahaha♪